Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
