The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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