This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize