Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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