He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
