Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
this beer tastes like vomit already
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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