y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
