I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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