I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
