Kareoke will never be a sober sport
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons