we're blogging at a bar
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast