there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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