direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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