those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL