put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.