My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you