If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.