yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.