There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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