Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize