can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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