i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
