I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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