it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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