dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
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My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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