ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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