forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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