My hair reeks of homosexuality.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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