I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
