just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
