so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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