Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize