Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
