So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one