Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.