my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
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just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
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Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.