Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
