i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
