I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She told me I should be a condom model.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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