Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
