don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
