Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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