Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize