You're completely useless in the revolution.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
