I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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