He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
What a dumb baby whore.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
