I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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