Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize