singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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