Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
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Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
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New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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