I got chris browned last night
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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