may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
