At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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