Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize