I just pynch a tree in the face
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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