i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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