she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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