yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize